Michaela's Musings

*This is from a class discussion post O nline tradwives are not a new phenomenon. In fact, they derive from a long history of white women upholding white patriarchy through the promotion and adherence to traditional gender roles. While the alt right is characterized by its aggression and "masculine" dominance, women's role in it has been to soften it, make it seem palatable to the masses. From female slaveowners to the United Daughters of the Confederacy to the Reich Bride Schools, white women have utilized their unique position to perpetuate systems of white supremacy. Their unique position—while limiting due to their gender—still allows them to exercise considerable power as white persons. These movements depend on the presumption that women are inherently softer. This lures people into the ideology, assuming that the presence of women makes these ideologies harmless or even aspirational. The emergence of tradwives on the internet is ignorant at best, and dangerous at w...

Note: This poem was part of an assignment for my poetry class. It's inspired by and responds to a fellow classmate's poem. A Meditation on Love Tell me about the widow  Dressed in black lace, Fangs dripping with bloody rouge. A heartless predator Claiming another victim. But she loved him. Adoring his tiny, tan frame And the smattering of freckles decorating his back. A deficit Mars to her lethal Venus. She loved him, So fiercely she Dices him into tiny cubes, Spooning him into her mouth. So that when their children are born, He is the first thing they know. And she, a hopeless romantic, Returns to her web. Waiting for another to love. XOXO, Michaela

  All Apples Rot Here is the house, Four hundred years in the making. Built with bleached bones and Black blood. Slicked with centuries of sweat. Burn marks etched into the hardwood floor. Nothing more American than apple pie. Gooey brown sugar and rancid flesh Served up to the highest bidder. Rot wriggles from beneath, As maggots eat away at the crust. We’re sent to eat in the kitchen When company comes. Dirty dishes pile high, Rank resentment wafts through the air. But we laugh. Nothing lasts forever. A teeny dent, A tiny crack in this mythical melting pot. XOXO, Michaela

                                                                                                         Lapse I can’t remember her laugh.  Maybe it was deep and warm,  Laced with Old Texan charm.  But then again, there’s a lot I don’t remember. Moths feast on the last photos my mind saved, Taunting me with glimpses Of honey blonde curls and bronzed skin. What was her name again? There is a woman at the end of my bed. Cloaked in white, Hazel eyes mirroring mine. Shining with guilt or relief, I can’t say. She glides towards me, Light as a feather. Soft hands cup my face And I am seven years old again. XOXO, Michaela

  As I prepared for college, I was inundated by adult relatives telling me the same thing: Enjoy it! These will be the best years of your life. I always found this sentiment quite puzzling. I mean, as adults in your 40s and 50s, your 20s were the best part of your life? As a second-year, I enjoy college. I love being within walking distance of my friends, restaurants, and other shops. I enjoy my classes—learning about women’s studies, how to write proofs, and fiction writing. It’s extremely enriching and has broadened my horizons.  However, I look forward to getting a job and having my own apartment. Being able to shower whenever I want. Having complete autonomy over my life. Lately, I’ve been doing research about the seven feminine archetypes out of curiosity. One of them is the Maiden. The embodiment of youth and innocence. She is Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. Waiting for Prince Charming to rescue them from their tower. It’s not lost on me that social media is inundated w...

Growing up, I was always bigger. Broad shoulders, thick thighs, big boobs, and a tummy. Even at my most fit (I played soccer for many years), I still had a tummy. I had muscle as well. At 17, I was almost 200 lbs. In my first year of undergrad, I barely ate and walked everywhere. I was constantly on the move. In the span of 10 months, I had lost 20 lbs. I’d gone from 189 lbs to 169 lbs. My thighs were smaller, my backrolls almost disappeared, my boobs got smaller, and my tummy got smaller. I was elated, and so was my family. I felt beautiful for the first time. But it came at a cost. Due to my lack of eating, I suffered from frequent migraines. My head would be in terrible pain in the mornings, something water couldn’t assuage. As I began my second year of undergrad, I made a promise to myself that I would eat more. At least one or two main meals a day. And it has helped. I don’t get as many migraines as I used to… but I’ve gained weight. Instead of 169 or 168 lbs, I’m now 173 lbs....